Tuesday Tally and survival

Status of my novel

total words to date: 82,191

pages: 359

completed chapters: 17

Last week's goals:

• write four scenes in WIP - short on this one...
• make specific plans (time and place) for next WW mtg - everything is decided, location reserved, emails sent 
• clean out main hotmail inbox - done. whew. four more to go 

Goals for this week:

• finish chapter 18 
• clean up email inbox of 2nd hotmail account

 

I am grateful for my husband. My day always gets better when he comes home from work. (Wishing he was home now...) I don't think I'd survive the week if he didn't get to work from home twice a week. I love my husband. He's sweet, shares common interests, will buy me flowers 'just because'. He's far from perfect, but who is? (Certainly not me...) He's much more patient than I am, a good dad and husband, and supportive of my writing. He already bought my birthday present, and has it wrapped and sitting where I will see it every time I open the closet. He does like to tease. I know he loves me very much. I'm sure looking forward to his hug today.

 

Less than two weeks to deadline... Fears have crept up, and interfeered with a lot of writing last week. It was easier to focus on timelines and calculating distance and travel than writing closer to "the end". The excitement of near-completion is getting smothered by the doubts and fears. I need to ignore all the emotion and simply write. Only ten scenes left to go. I can do this. Each scene is planned out, all I have to do is expand on that. Past the plotting and ideas stage. I already have the celebration party planned, so it would look bad if I didn't finish now. It's been so easy to find excuses not to write. Running out of time. Still very reasonable if I just do it. One scene a day gets me done a couple days early. I know it won't be a good ending. The rest of the book needs a lot of work, so I'll be doing lots of revisions anyway. I'm not sure exactly what it is I'm afraid of. That I can't meet my deadline? That it's all a waste of time and even after revisions won't be good enough? Am I so determined to fail? This will be my first completed novel. Maybe I'm afraid that I won't be able to do it again. But wouldn't that hinder starting a new project, not finishing this one? Enough with the anxiety. Just write. And write some more. One page at a time.