Agent Blog + Contest

Kathleen Ortiz, Associate Agent at Lowenstein Associates, has started blogging! Her blog is Neverending Page Turner. She’s got a contest running right now, and the prize is a query critique. Head on over!

Tuesday Tally: YA vs Adult

Goals for this week:

• query more agents
• dig back into TC
• write a couple chapters for Rt100D

 

In the last Secret Agent contest hosted by Authoress, the agent said my opening of EotF felt fairy tale-esque, and that she wasn’t convinced the mood works well for adult fantasy. (My entry here) Sometime this last month, I read that a fantasy author of YA books said she wrote for adults, but publishers chose to call it YA. (I can’t for the life of me find the link again, so don’t want to say the author, as I could be remembering wrong and don’t want to misrepresent. If you know who might have said this, or where, feel free to speak up.)

These two things got me thinking. Should I try calling it Young Adult? Traditional fantasy doesn’t seem as strict on protagonist age for the label. Robin McKinley’s books are YA, and she’s always been one of my inspirations. But only one of my other stories (current and planned) have a teen protagonist, so there is a fear of debuting with a YA and following up with one that is not.

Here’s the breakdown for my other books. Title : Main Character(s) : age

• Race to 100 Deaths : Tilara : 30 (maturity=20 human yrs)
• Trinity Coven : Kaelin and Anton : 25 and 26
• Fly With Me : Vincent : 20
• Sienna’s Story : Sienna : 37
• The Blazing Princess : Aurora : birth to 16 (most likely to fit YA)

In Emergence of the Fey, Marian starts at 14, and ends at 20. Barely out of teen range. The secondary POV, Jex, is five or six years older. There are some training years that I could speed up if I wanted to shorten the timeline and end with Marian still a teen.

I never considered EotF a young adult novel. Then again, I rarely think in those terms when it comes to fantasy. As long as I’ve been reading fantasy, I’ve been reading from whatever shelf I wanted. Even now, the only reason I care if a book is Teen or Adult is where in the store do I go to buy it?

I know in the end it’s not up to me, it’s up to the marketing department. Which may be a non-issue if EotF is never picked up. So the question now is what label will best hook an agent?

Agent Update

Last night I got a response from the agent I pitched to. Form rejection. :-( Oh well. Time to get the query train going again.

100 word pitch - Revised

I need a 100 word pitch for the Muse Online Conference to pitch to agents/editors. Here’s my current version. Opinions please!

 

In Dashevona, where females with magic can be killed by law, Marian discovers she has not one magic, but two: enchanter and fey. When the elemental fey burn Marian's village, her mother within, Marian is knocked out before she can stop them or exact revenge. The Fey realize their mistake when Marian shows signs of being the woman to open the return for their goddess. Without the goddess, anything touched by fey, including Marian, could die as the source fades away. Hiding is no longer an option. Can Marian forgive those who killed her mother, in order to save herself?

 

Emergence of the Fey (97,000 words)

 

Edit: After the feedback here (thanks!) and from my husband, here’s my revision (at 105 words):

 

In Dashevona, where females with magic are executed, Marian discovers she has not one magic, but two: enchanter and fey. When the elemental fey burn Marian's village, her mother within, Marian is knocked out before she can stop them or exact revenge.

 

The Fey seek forgiveness when they learn Marian can hear their banished goddess, a sign of Marian's ability to initiate Her return. Anything touched by fey, including Marian, will perish as the goddess’ power fades.

 

Marian must overcome anger, heartbreak,  and betrayal, while being hunted by the Enchanter Council. Can she do all this when her heart has been stolen by a thief?

 

 

I don’t want to take space on describing the differences in magic. Or give too much away by going into detail on why the village is burned. Some questions are good, as long as the reader is interested. Thoughts?

 

((removed poll. getting weird error in Windows Live Writer, which poll seemed to contribute to.))

 

Query results

Winners have been announced for Authoress’s query contest. I really appreciated the feedback from Jodi Meadows, as well as other blog commenters. For the purpose of the contest, we submitted a query and first 250 words of the manuscript. Mine was number #38.

 

I got nine comments on my query. Four were hooked (though one normally didn’t read the genre). One liked it “with reserve”, and thought it could be tightened. Four were not hooked (including Jodi).

 

Overall, the concept didn’t seem to be the problem. Advice leans toward tightening/more focus, and dry/lack of voice. Hopefully in fixing the first issue, I can bring out my voice more. And fixing the query is easier than fixing the central concept and conflict.

It was also pretty universal to drop the three sentences about Jex and romance which felt tagged on; which is fair, as they were… It was my second version query, that I tried to spin to more romance oriented agents.

 

Jodi also commented that (judging from the opening page) the manuscript starts too soon. I disagree, but that’s harder for me to judge (being the author and all). But if enough agents aren’t hooked by my query and sample pages, then I may have to reconsider. For now, I’m going to revise my query and send it out again.

 

The query is still open for comments if you want to leave any, here or on the contest entry post. All feedback is welcome. :-)

Good News

Yesterday I got my first request from a query! An agent said she was interested in taking a look at the entire manuscript. I took some deep breaths, did some research to make sure I formatted everything in an acceptable manner, and sent it out this morning. Now I’m on pins and needles with the wait. So exciting!

Post V-Day TT and another opening evaluation

EotF Status

Assumed rejection from Firebrand.

Another rejection from query; one still out.

 

T.C. Status

word count: 5,454

 

FwM Status

word count: 2,387

 

Previous Goals:

• another color poem
• synopsis for EotF - been too sick to focus on this (head fuzzy) but progress made
• figure out why my copy/paste has suddenly gone on strike... (was working fine just a few minutes ago!)  - fixed, but by magic rather than deduction
• finish TC chapter four - my goal for today, but if my head won't wrap around it then I won't punish myself for finishing it later this week

 

Goals for this week:

• work more on synopsis, so I can send out next batch of queries
• finish color poems in progress (green and violet) 
• submit a batch of poems
• get extra rest so I get better (awful sore throat, aching body, etc) 

 

Color poems complete: yellow, orange, blue, black, red, brown, and white. I'll probably do a gray. Maybe pink. Can't think of more after that. 11 poems is not enough for a chapbook. Hmm. I have an ART poem that would accompany these well. I'll have to decide what else to add to "My Palette of Color."

 

Edited to Add: Forgot to mention Valentine's Day! Wrote a Valentine Villanelle for my husband. Saturday we went and saw Push. Awesome show. Lots of action, kept me guessing, and was consistent with the rules it set. Plus, hottie Chris Evans. We'll be buying the movie when it comes out on DVD.

 

Another Secret Agent contest has come to an end. Here's my new opening (number 41) and results.

 

The opening (EotF):

Marian knelt by the small stream, watching the puddle jumpers. The blue sparks danced just out of reach as she dipped her hand in. The only sounds were the trickle of the stream and a pair of birds singing courtship.

She stood and wiped her hands on her long tunic. Why were the trees so silent today? The crying in Oak Tears was something that belonged only to her. Since a young age, Marian had heard what no one else could. Now the familiar ache's absence left her feeling strangely alone.

"Marian... Marian." Her sister came into view, cheeks flushed and dark hair loose from its braid.

"Terra, what's wrong?"

Terra stopped to catch her breath. "Mother... needs help... Glenna... baker's wife... having baby."

Marian gasped. "Has it been ten moons already?"

Terra shook her head. "Only eight and a half. Mother is over there now. She needs an ointment made and fresh water."

Marian didn't need to hear more. "You get a bucket from the well. I'll make the ointment and meet you at Glenna's."

Marian knocked on the door as she entered the room. Her mother looked up from her tea preparation at the hearth, sighed in relief, and motioned her daughter over. A ribbon held her dark brown hair out of the way. She handed Marian a ribbon to do the same.

Glenna squatted at the end of a worn bed. Her husband sat directly behind her, ready to brace her during her struggles.

 

Comments: 18

Hooked?: 12 yes; 3 no; 3 on the fence, would read a bit further to decide. Much better ratios than the last two times (6/8/10 the first time, and 3/6/2 the second). Apparently opening with this scene works much better.

 

Problems Cited by Readers:

- confusion about ten moons comment
- confusion about crying in Oak Tears/2nd paragraph in general (biggest issue, with 8 comments)
- puddle jumpers reminds of Star Trek
- opening elements seem unrelated (crying, etc then birthing)
- not enough hook (doesn't stand out)

 

What I can fix from the problems:
- Change name of puddle jumpers (not a Star Trek fan myself, so didn't make a connection.)
- Work on 2nd paragraph to remove confusions
- Make character/story more compelling on first page?? somehow?? Hoping it was more of a taste thing, as I did have many positive comments.

 

What Won't Change:
- not going too in detail about Oak Tears crying, as it comes up again at the end of same chapter. Besides, need some intrigue, can't answer all story questions.
- I'll allow readers to discover the connection between the opening threads as they read the rest of the chapter
- mention of ten moons long pregnancy. shows this is otherworld. As reader reads more, will learn their calendar is based off the moon (each month or Moon is 4 weeks or 28 days, one moon cycle). It's not even inaccurate week-wise for a human. 40 week pregnancy is standard, which is 10 of their moons/months, and nine of ours.

 

Most Helpful Comment:

Tara Maya said...

I think this is really important to the story: Why were the trees so silent today? The crying in Oak Tears was something that belonged only to her. Since a young age, Marian had heard what no one else could. Now the familiar ache's absence left her feeling strangely alone.
Unfortunately, it's confusing. You have be as explicit as possible.
"The crying in Oak Tears" -- Who or what is crying? Are the trees crying? Is there a disembodied sound of weeping and crying?
Since a young age, Marian had heard what no one else could.-- This is perfectly clear. Good.
the familiar ache's absence -- This is less clear. "Ache" sounds like something Marian would be feeling herself, not a description of something outside her, like the sound of crying. When she's in the grove of Oak Tears, does she ache too?

 

The secret agent (later revealed to be Kristin Nelson) said this about it:

The writing is quite solid in this entry but I can't help but feel that this introduction to the story is very ho-hum in terms of the genre of fantasy.
Over the years, I've read hundreds, maybe even thousands, of fantasy sample pages. This isn't going to stand out.
Now I like the crying in Oak Tears so that is interesting but not necessarily enough so.
The key with fantasy is to nail the character in the opening pages and I rarely see that done in unique way. Most writers rely on the worn familiar in the genre.
So what I'm saying is that this writer probably has possibility but this isn't getting the job done.

 

On a side note, Kristin form-rejected my query just 10 days before. At least she said my writing is solid and has possibility. Hopefully my opening will stand out more for another agent. If I can get them to read pages, that is...

T.T. and Happy Holidays

EotF Status

total words to date: 97,037

pages: 440

chapters revised: 21/27 (draft 6)

 

T.C. Status

word count: 2,947

 

MiB Status

word count: 791

 

Goals for December

• write a prompted poem for contest - "If Atlas Had a Tantrum..." 
• submit a batch of poems  
• mail off Blazing Princess again 
• get through EotF draft 6

 

My mom stopped by today, so now we have presents circling the entire Christmas tree rather than one little pile. We're having pot roast for Christmas dinner. It will be my first time making it. Hoping it goes well. With the internet and a crock pot I don't imagine it will be too hard.

 

Slow progress on the potty training front. Just haven't had good timing. Doesn't help that B never volunteers the need to go, for either function. Was hoping that a shower (which B hates) after every soiled underwear would help to motivate him, but after three showers yesterday... Today better not be as bad. It would be a lovely Christmas present for him to be potty trained, but I don't think it's happening that fast.

 

As soon as I finish this draft of EotF, I am sending the first chapter to Firebrand Literary Agency. They are having a Query Holiday, and accepting first chapters through January 15. Worth a shot.

Tuesday Tally and Query Tracker

Status of my novel

1. first draft
2. read and revise for plot
3. read and revise for continuity
4. read and edit for grammar
5. polish prose to prettiness
6. write query and synopsis
7. query agents

total words to date: 90,256

pages: 397

chapters revised: 10/21 (draft 3)

Previous goals:

• 2 hour writing session Wednesday - was too tired, slept most of the afternoon. this cold sure has cut down productivity  
• write letter to self about this year's goals, which I can read through-out the year for inspiration - still need to do
• edit five chapters of EotF - at least I finished something! 
• critique three chapters of work not mine - did one. sick, foggy brain and all
• send out a batch of poetry - submitted 6 poems to The New Yorker 
• write rough synopsis for EotF - messy, but complete. more of a chapter-by-chapter summary than a good synopsis. but it's a starting point 

Goals for next week:

• revise 7 more chapters for EotF (trying to get through this round of edits by end of month)
• goal letter to self 
• critique at least one chapter (being more reasonable this time) 

 

As predicted, my pun entry got me into the second tier, not the first. My opponent's entry was awesome. Even I thought it beat mine to pulp. On the bright side, competition may be easier in second tier than first, and the prizes are still good.

 

I found a great site today: QueryTracker.net. I'm going to sign up for their free services. Not only do they have a searchable database of agents, along with user comments, but they have query tracking (thus the name). I think it will be a great resource once I start submitting to agents. They keep track of average response times, genres represented, who is actively seeking new clientele, etc. Much like  Duotrope's Digest, except with agents instead of markets. And did I mention it's free? I like free.

Benefits of an Agent

When I first started writing this novel, I never considered the idea of having an agent. Now that I've been doing more research - examining publisher websites, reading blogs of people in the industry (authors, agents, editors), etc. - I'm seriously leaning toward targeting an agent first instead of a publisher. Though there's always the option of getting an agent after receiving an offer from an publisher, but before negotiating the contract. In a case like that, it would be easier to get an agent as it's a guaranteed sale.

An agent blogged yesterday about receiving a phone call from an unagented author who had an offer on the table from a publisher. In the comments someone asked why an author would need an agent if she already has an offer. Diana Peterfreund (author) responded:

...agents do a whole lot more than just send books out to publishers.

Yes, an agent can negotiate the contract. The author could do it themselves, but they aren't necessarily going to know everything to look for, or be able to get the same responses as an agent could.

In addition, the agent can turn the original offer into something else entirely -- a one book deal into a multi-book deal, etc. They can see the offer the publisher is making as well as the potential of the project and advise the author NOT to take it. Since there is an offer from one publisher, there may be an offer from another, and the agent can help facilitate this through her contacts.

And that's all before a contract is agreed upon. An agent's job isn't over when the contract is delivered. She can help guide the author through the entire process -- cover design, publicity concerns, editing concerns -- everything.

Great information. Makes me wonder why someone wouldn't look for an agent. Especially as a first time author with no experience in the business. Especially when there's proof that, on average, authors with agents get higher advances than those without.

Of course, this all brings me back to needing to finish my book. I'm about halfway through chapter eight, sitting at 31,950 words total. Not sure yet how many chapters there will be. I should go figure that out (after my daily writing of course).

edited to correct author genre mistake