U is for Unique

I came across this again in my notes. It’s something I wrote a few years ago, but still applies today.

I was going through the same phase of: any other writer could tell this story better. Then I remembered my conclusion when I put myself down as a bad parent.

Even though I'm not the best mom, I don't want anyone else raising my kid, because I know him best.

As a writer, my characters deserve the same. I may not be the best writer, but I know my story and characters and no one can tell their story the way I can.

One of my favorite fantasy authors, Patrick Rothfuss, responded to a commenter who wished they could write like him. I wrote this verbatim into my bliss book so I’d always have a reminder when I start comparing myself to other authors.

“I’ll never be able to write a book like The Last Unicorn. I wish I could, but I know I can’t.

You can’t write the sort of story I write. Only I can.

We all have our own style. Our own way. Our own something we need to say.

If you want to write like me, you’re bound to fail. What you want to do is write your story, but do it brilliantly. Do it so well that it shines.

But it takes time. And revision. And depression. And work. And then more work…

I’ve been there. I know what you’re talking about.”

We are all unique. We each have a story to tell. Whether we tell that through our blogs, or poetry, or fiction, or in a different medium such as film or art. We can all contribute to the world. When we stop contributing, we do the world a disservice.

Keep on Going on

You are you.
No one can replace you;
No one can love
the way you do.

You're not just one star
in the universe;
You are someone's sun--
They would be adrift
if your light went out.

Don't give up your dreams—
your success, your creations, your journey,
may change someone else's life.

Keep on going on.

There is darkness in my background, but I have embraced this. I didn’t give up on myself, or my dream. I am happy to announce that the book shaped from that darkness, Chiaroscuro, is now published. It is available for purchase as a digital book from SynergEbooks, my wonderful publisher. And will soon be available for Kindle and Nook.

This is my first published collection of my own poetry. So I am very excited to release it to the world.

Muselings Post on Gratitude

Today’s post is my contribution over at Poetic Muselings. I wrote on Bliss and Gratitude. Go check it out and leave a comment!

An Empty Box

Yesterday, B and I went on a walking field trip down to Family Dollar. He bought a new monster truck and a pen and pads of paper. I bought some goodies, of course. The best ever shortbread cookies (especially for the $1 price) and a pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Or, at least goodies was all I planned to get. While looking through the store, I saw this box. Beautiful, with butterflies and music notes and flowers, and that vintage looking background. I held it, caressed it, oohed and ahhed. Set it back on the shelf and moved on.

I changed my mind a few times as we wandered the aisles. My practical side argued that I had no use for it. Didn’t know what to put in it, or where to display it. Just pretty clutter.

My pink side said: buy it for yourself! Like when you bought that gorgeous notebook last year. You deserve it. Why do you need a reason for everything? It’s only five dollars. Looking at it will make you happy, even if you never fill it. It’s like a 3-D bliss book. So many things that just make you happy. Any buyer’s guilt would vanish as you gaze at it. This box is simply YOU.

So I bought the box.

It’s 9.5” x 11.5”, and 5.5” deep. Any suggestions on what I could put in it?

Owning my Health

I think Wendy hit it on the head in last week’s comment, when she tied lack of focus into lack of sleep. April was an awful writing month. I think two things contributed to this. Health and stress. Allergies, then my son’s sickness, and getting sick myself (just recovering for those concerned). Plus the self-inflicted stress of falling further behind on my writing goals.

I’ve spent way too much focus on how much do I need to write to finish, rather than enjoying the process. Where did the passion go? I’m going to release the deadline. Be free. Breathe easy.

Weronika is inviting writers to join her in a page-a-day challenge from May 15th to June 15th. I think the timing is perfect. One page. No stressing that I’m falling behind on looming deadlines (even if self-imposed).

If I stress less, I’ll probably be healthier. But I’m not relying on that alone. I need to own my health. I’ve come up with five ways I can do that:

1. drink more water – keep a water bottle at my desk. if it’s close, I’m more likely to drink it
2. exercise – walking has been great for lower body, but my core and upper body are weaklings
3. eat a more balanced lunch – I don’t send my husband to work with just a PBJ, so why fall back on that myself? If I don’t eat enough at lunch, I end up snacking on unhealthy stuff through the day.
4. if sleepy, use caffeinated soda as last resort. get active with Rock Band, or take a nap!
5. less repetitive gaming (*coughfacebookzooworld*) so my wrists last longer

 

Last week’s goals:

• clean physical space (corner bedroom) – some improvement
• write something

Goals for this week:

• create custom workout for EA Active
• create summer schedule to include writing time
• relax, read my bliss book
• take some time to read and enjoy Trinity Coven

Tuesday Tally: Be Free

Last week’s goals:

• send out more queries – revising again
• joined a challenge on Writing.com to add 10,000 words to my novel (TC) this week. Need to make up for not writing last week. – not even close
• hunt down and post all blog awards to sidebar – done!

 

Goals for this week:

• finish query revisions
• add to my bliss book
• write two chapters in TC

 

I got some new feedback on my EotF query which brought up some good points. I whined to hubby about difficulty pinning down and voicing those points. Hubby saves day by pointing out underlying themes and motivations which I need to highlight. Thank you dear husband! So, revising query with new theme in mind, and more focus on the main character.

I plan on not neglecting my new bliss book to the point I don’t realize its gone. I pulled some stickers and pictures from my scrapbooking supplies which connect with me and put them in a special folder. Each day I want to add something to my book: a new quote, a sticker, a poem, a happy little drawing. Something that makes me happy that day. I didn’t have a strong mantra/theme for old book. This time while writing my purpose the perfect phrase came to me: Be Free. Free my muse, free my writing, free me from doubt and fear, free me from burdens that I may fly.

Lots of distractions last week, so didn’t have the big writing numbers. My husband was sick, I spent a day with my mom, and had some other projects demand my attention. Still on track to finish T.C. by end of March though. Need to be steady, consistent.

I was going to share another excerpt from Trinity Coven, but decided to instead stay on the theme of Be Free. Here’s a little something I wrote for a prompt last year. It will most likely be a part of Fly With Me, my other contemporary fantasy.

The wind whips her long black hair into her face as she smiles at me. "Believe in me. Believe in yourself. Remember the story of Peter? You can do this!"

I look at the parachutes sitting beside us. A safety net. I look into her bright eyes. "I want to believe."

I reach for one of the packs, but she blocks me. "Those are only crutches. Go!"

She shoves me with all her weight. Her laughter is ripped away by the air screaming at my fall. Was she crazy? How could she test me this way? I pinwheel, my heart beating out of my chest. I look down. The ground is spinning, churning my stomach with it. What did she say about Peter? The apostle who walked on water. But he sank! The ground is getting so close. Peter did walk on water. He only faltered when he lost faith.

I scream out, "I believe!" I close my eyes. Spread my arms. And begin to somersault until my head is once again above my feet. Finally looking up, I see her circling above me, ready to dive and catch me if I falter. Smiling, I fly up to meet her.

Bliss Book

I first started a bliss book during Tamlyn Leigh’s workshop at the Muse Online Writers Conference.

 

What is a Bliss Book?

A book with all kinds of things that make you smile, just a small journal, with pictures pasted in it, poetry that brings a smile on your face, quotes that remind you of the good things in life.

 

Read about creating your own bliss book here.

 

Whenever I was feeling like my writing sucked, or generally depressed, I could open my bliss book and bring on a smile. I used a lovely illustrated fairy journal. I put in pictures of unicorns and teddy bears, inspirational quotes, excerpts from acceptance letters, journaled about some of my best writing moments. My book made me happy.

And now it is gone. It had a place on my desk, easily at hand. Last week I went to add something, and realized it was gone. I scoured the entire house, even checking under beds and in my son’s closet. Can’t find it. Gone. Gone gone. You know how I was sick lately? I had the garbage can next to my desk for easy tissue disposal. I’m afraid I or my son knocked my book into the garbage. I simply don’t know what else could have happened.

I wish we had back-ups for physical items like we do virtual. I grieved. All that creativity and pictures gone. Sadness is counter-productive to the purpose of the book though. Life moves on.

On a positive note, I have an identical journal. I had bought one, then shortly after received one as a gift. Now I have a use for that second journal. Find new pictures, new quotes. It won’t be exactly the same, but I’m sure I will find the same bliss. Time to start anew.